


All Your Plans (I'm Insignificant)

by lostatsea



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Sad but happy? ending, theyre in high school, tyler and Josh are sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8560909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostatsea/pseuds/lostatsea
Summary: He embraced his last hour of being alive on his bike, staring at the dark trees and houses and road and sky. He embraced the way that his fingers were shaking, and he embraced the way his heart was pounding, screaming to escape. He embraced the sound of the tires rolling over the gravel in the parking lot, and he embraced the sound of a figure in the distance coming toward him. Tyler Joseph was about to kill himself with a stranger that he met online. And so far, everything was going as planned.





	

Tyler couldn't believe he was actually doing this. He couldn't believe that he was typing these exact words. The anxiety and dread that had been building up for ages were now flowing through his fingers as they carried out hopeless phrases. 

He couldn't believe he was finalizing his thoughts. He never thought this moment would come.

For how strongly he felt about this decision, he was surprised at how shaky his hands were as they danced across the keys. The overhead seemed to be pouncing on him, drawing a thin layer of sweat on his skin, and the words that stood half-complete on his screen all seemed distant. But he took a deep breath and regained focus on his real goal. 

As much as he didn't want to die, he didn't want to live, and the latter was a stronger feeling. 

Thus, this was necessary. This had to happen.

He re-read his post while eyeing the luring submit button, and he didn't know how he felt about it. 

Looking for suicide partner near the Columbus, Ohio area... message me and we can discuss further details.  
-Blurryface

Finally, without much room for hesitation, Tyler clicked submit, and he shut his laptop with triumph. He turned the light off and collected himself under the covers, tuning over before shutting his eyes. He unsettlingly attempted sleep, but his recent actions were blaring too prominently in his mind to ignore them.

He finally succumbed to the darkness well into the night. 

***

The next day at school was unsettling.

Even though no one knew his brain, and no one knew what was behind his eyes, he still felt like everyone was looking at him because of what he had done and what he was soon to do. 

Walking down the hallway, he could see his classmate's gawking, sharp eyes. When people laughed, they were laughing at him. When people whispered to their friends, they were whispering about him. 

No one could have known about his post, especially because it was under a fake name, but he couldn't help the pounding of his heart and the trembling of his fingers. Everyone's reactions were just figments of his mind, but his delusions were too consuming.

"What's up with you today?" Jenna had asked at lunch, setting a bagel down on the table. "You seem upset." Her words were soft and gentle, but Tyler couldn't help but feel that they were piercing needles.

Tyler glanced to her, sharply responding with, "Nothing's wrong. Why?" 

"Just," she started, the words stopping at her lips. "Nothing," she finally ended, sighing. 

Tyler didn't bother to retrieve those unsaid words.

Josh gave him an odd look as well, but Tyler ignored both of their concerns. Nothing was going to get in the way of his plan. 

***

When he came home from school that day, Tyler tried to act like everything was normal. He pulled out his homework and agenda book, looking over what he had written down that needed to be accomplished. 

He had a long-term English project to do that involved reading a book, but if he wouldn't be around the day he had to turn it in, he didn't need to do that. He crossed that off his list. 

He had a math test in a week and a worksheet for the night, but if he wouldn't be around to receive a grade in the class, why did he need to do his homework tonight? He crossed that off his list. 

He didn't have time to scan over his other homework before deciding it would be a better idea to check for any responses on the internet. He needed to know that he could carry through with his plan before going any further. 

He opened a new tab and typed in the website before it prompted him for a log-in. He typed in Blurryface with a slight smile, admiring his online persona. 

But then he noticed the small, red icon in the corner. He had gotten a message.

He couldn't contain himself from quickly clicking to it and opening up the response.

I'm in. The sooner the better.  
-SpookyJim

Tyler jumped up from his chair, clenching his hand into a successful fist. He had found a partner, someone to take his life with. This was official now. This was actually going to happen. 

Saturday night. 11:30 p.m. Location ideas?  
-Blurryface

Tyler sent it eagerly while waiting impatiently before the screen. He hoped that SpookyJim was online; he needed to plan a definite location, time, and date. 

Luckily, the mysterious user only took a minute to message back. 

Do you know the ice cream place next to the mall in Worthington?  
-SpookyJim

Tyler knew it. And it was close.

See you there.  
-Blurryface

He was about to logout and close his screen, getting a bit antsy that his mom would come in and catch him, but an alert of another message popped onto his computer. 

Shouldn't we set rules? Answer questions?  
-SpookyJim

Like what?  
-Blurryface

How?  
-SpookyJim

What do you mean?  
-Blurryface

Do I have to spell it out? How are we gonna kill ourselves?  
-SpookyJim

You haven't thought of it, yet? Wow.  
-Blurryface

He knew he was being snappy, but it didn't matter after all. He didn't need to build a relationship with this guy.

Well, are we doing it together?  
-SpookyJim

We're just gonna be there to make sure we each don't chicken out. If you're doubting this, I don't want you in. Okay?  
-Blurryface

Okay  
-SpookyJim

So I assume we're done here. See you Saturday.  
-Blurryface

Wait  
-SpookyJim

...  
-Blurryface

Shouldn't we talk about this? It's a serious decision, and I want to make sure we are sure. Maybe we could help each other.  
-SpookyJim

Tyler wanted to strangle this guy.

I asked for a suicide partner, not a guidance counselor.  
-Blurryface

I worded it poorly. We can just talk.  
-SpookyJim

I don't want to talk about it.  
-Blurryface

Ok sorry.  
-SpookyJim

So are you up for Saturday or not?  
-Blurryface

Sorry, sorry. Yeah. See you in two days.  
-SpookyJim

***

School on Friday was eerie.

Tyler didn't have to pay attention to anything, do any homework, or ace any tests. He was free to fail, free to do whatever he wanted. He could even get suspended, or shout at his teachers, but Tyler didn't want any cause for concern that would make it impossible to sneak out in the middle of the night on Saturday.

But it surely was strange to think that this was the last time that Tyler would be walking in these halls. This would be the last time that he had to face his teachers. This would be the last time that he would see his friends. 

His friends were probably the only reason that he hadn't committed months earlier, maybe even years earlier, but he knew now that they weren't strong enough reasons to keep him here. 

I won't miss them when I'm gone, he told himself, because you can't miss people when you're dead.

He shook his head loosely at his own brain's comment before walking into the lunchroom. Any positive emotion drained from him when he sat down and saw their faces, knowing this would be his last conversation with Josh and Jenna. 

"Did you see that new Garageband update last night?" Josh started speaking instantly once Tyler sat down. "They added more loops to overlay with my drumming. You gotta check it out with your songs." 

"That sounds cool," Tyler responded dully, unable to lace any emotion into his voice.

"It is," Josh reinforced. "I wouldn't need more loops though if we collaborated on something. You're a total genius when it comes to those programs. You gotta help me out with that." 

"Maybe someday," Tyler lied. 

Josh nodded with a smile, taking a bite from his sandwich that he brought everyday.

Lunch continued with small talk before the bell rang. Everyone seemed to dash out of the lunchroom, eager to linger in the hallway before their next class, but Tyler moved slowly, making a point to say goodbye and even hug both Jenna and Josh. 

"Thanks for the hug, Tyler," Jenna started to say, "but why?" 

"It's never not the occasion to hug someone," he responded shakily, forcing a fake smile. 

Josh only replied with that same, unconfident grin.

***

Saturday night came much slower than Tyler had expected. The preceding hours had taken forever to reach later and later into the evening, and Tyler had been going insane over the buildup.

But before he knew, he was standing right before the finish line of his life as he grabbed his bike from his garage, just shy of eleven, and took to the road. 

He had not ridden his bicycle in years, but it seemed to be the only effective method of travel. 

It was chilly out, but not a cold that was debilitating. The last day of November was not usually this warm, but Tyler embraced it. 

He embraced his last hour of being alive on his bike, staring at the dark trees and houses and road and sky. He embraced the way that his fingers were shaking, and he embraced the way his heart was pounding, screaming to escape. He embraced the sound of the tires rolling over the gravel in the parking lot, and he embraced the sound of a figure in the distance coming toward him. 

It was too dark to make out any faces, so they relied on their voices to communicate.

"SpookyJim?" He called out hesitantly, not sure how his voice was actually working. 

"Yeah," he heard a breathy sigh. "Look, I'm really scared, and I really want to do this but I'm so, so frightful of everything. But I can't live anymore. I can't." 

Tyler knew that voice. He knew it.

"I feel horrible," SpookyJim continued. "I just need to die. But how can I do that without feeling so scared? I know I have anxiety, but geez, I've never felt as anxious as I feel right now." 

"Josh?" Tyler spoke very, very slowly. 

"Tyler?" Josh stomped his foot and shook his head frantically. "Oh gosh. Oh gosh. What are you doing here?

Tyler turned on his phone's flashlight, revealing his face that was now swimming in salty tears. 

"You're-" He said suddenly. "You're Blurryface?"

Tyler nodded. "And you're SpookyJim?"

"Oh gosh, Tyler, we can't do this," Josh choked out, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend once they stepped closer to each other. 

"I want to, Josh," Tyler barely spoke, not letting go of Josh. "I want to." 

"I know," Josh responded. "I do too, but I'm so scared." 

"You'll be okay, Josh," Tyler said. "We'll be okay. It'll be easy. We won't even realize it once we start slipping from reality."

"I don't think I can do this," Josh mumbled, stepping back. "This is a mistake. I should have never done this. I never should have signed up for that website, and I never should I contacted you."

"Well, I'm not giving up," Tyler replied seriously. 

"You're coming home with me, okay?" Josh took his arm, tugging on his side.

"Leave me here," Tyler shook his head.

Josh stood still.

"Go!" Tyler yelled, his hands motioning him away. 

"What would Jenna think?" Josh asked, tears now actively spilling down his cheeks. 

"You were about to kill yourself five minutes ago too," Tyler defended himself, crossing his arms.

"She'd be devastated," he continued. "What would your family think? What would your basketball team think? And what would I think? I'd be unable to function. I need you here, Tyler."

"And five minutes ago, you didn't need me. You were going to die too. Plus, I don't care about my basketball team." 

"We can't do it without each other," Josh stepped closer to Tyler. "If I live, you have to live."

Tyler didn't seem convinced. 

Josh pleaded, "Please, I could never see you die in front of me. I could never die myself looking at you. I'll live for you, can you live for me?" 

Tyler started to cry harder. 

Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler again. "C'mon, you can live." 

"I can't," he shook. "I can't." 

Josh paused for a second, simply comforting the depressed boy with a tight embrace, before opening his mouth to speak again. "Let's go to my house, and if you're feeling the same way after some time, then we can try to get some other help. But you'll be okay. We'll be okay." 

Tyler hesitated, "I'm scared." 

"I am too," Josh agreed, but he took Tyler's hand. "But tomorrow's sure to come. I'm not letting you hurt yourself. I'm not letting you die."

Tyler nodded, shivering. 

"And by the way," Josh said, looking at the time on his phone, "Happy Birthday." 

He nodded again, no words leaving their lips at first. They began taking steps to their bikes, both seemingly have used that method of travel, before Tyler stopped. 

"Thanks for saving my life, SpookyJim," Tyler said.

"No, I'm the one who should be thanking you, Blurryface," he said, hands still interlocked. "We'll be okay."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really proud of this writing, but I hope you enjoyed reading.


End file.
